Healthy relationships are built and maintained with mutual respect and trust. It takes ongoing give and take, honesty, and communication to stay together for life. But when one partner is addicted to drugs or alcohol, each of those factors begins to erode, toxic behaviors in couples leaving behind the damage of a once solid foundation of love.
Yet, many times, the partner of an addict stays with them, hoping their love will be strong enough to overcome the substance use. Whether or not that happens depends on factors like the severity of the addiction, the support the two receive, and whether they work together to go through drug rehab for couples.
It’s not always easy to tell when the person you love begins using drugs, but over time, there are telltale signs that are almost impossible to ignore. When one partner is an addict, these 7 toxic behaviors make it difficult to stay in a once-loving relationship.
1. A Web of Lies
We’ve all grown up with the knowledge that drug and alcohol abuse is bad. When you’re using those substances, you don’t want other people to judge you or take away the “high” feeling you get from your addiction, so you hide your usage with lies. Once caught, you may lie that the problem isn’t as bad as it looks or that you intend to get help. These lies turn into a sticky web that will destroy your relationships.
2. Trickery and Deceit
Similar to lying, an addict often results in trickery and deceit. These are behaviors that a person uses to avoid an outright lie or deflect their actions to focus on the other person’s. For instance, you may tell your partner that they are too controlling, so you use your substance of choice to relax. Rather than lying about where you’re going, you go where you said you were headed but then stop along the way to get your hit. You didn’t lie, right? Still, this is manipulative and deceitful.
3. Abuse Becomes the Norm
Did you know that emotional abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse? While violence can be dangerous at the moment and leave behind mental and physical scars, emotional abuse also results in long-term damage to the victim. Yet, abuse becomes a normal part of the relationship when drugs are in the picture. The addict begins to change, saying and doing things they might not have done normally and hurting the person they claim to love.
4. Negativity is Outlook
Let’s face it. Stress is part of life for almost all of us. Addicts have a harder time handling outside and inside stress, and they take on a negative, critical persona, insulting their partner frequently and becoming overall negative.
5. The Play is Always Defensive
When one partner is an addict, the other partner must walk on eggshells to avoid constant fights because anything they say can be taken the wrong way. Something as simple as, “Did you take the garbage out?” can put the addict on the defensive.
6. Romance is Gone
You may love each other, but it’s hard to feel attracted to a person who is always contemptuous towards you. Slowly, the romance disappears, and the only thing left is a stressful relationship that one person is trying to save while the other person continues to destroy with their drug or alcohol use.
7. Silence Becomes the Communication
By the time the addict’s partner recognizes the problem is too far gone for them to handle alone, the addict may not want to hear their pleas to get help. Instead, they don’t talk about it at all, keeping conversations to the bare minimum. This type of communication is often the nail in the coffin of a relationship unless a professional intervenes to help.
Addiction Doesn’t Have To Be the End
Although it’s impossible for an addict to be in a successful relationship long-term, there is a chance that they can get help. Both parties must do what’s necessary to focus on making themselves healthy and recovering from the damage substance use played in their lives. If, after that journey is over, they still want to be together in a healthy way, it may be possible, but it will take trust, professional assistance, and ongoing work.
